This time yesterday, I was running around in the market trying to make additional ends meet.
Yes, I looked all scruffy and was unbelievably in a state of squalor; a terrible sight to behold.
Today, I sit in an office, with my laptop, dark lipstick, a gorgeous black dress- the quintessential boss!
2 days ago, i shuttled between the kitchen duties and house chores.
11 days ago, I was at a birthday party organised for the choir by for of my mentors- Toyin Hassan-Odukale
and just 13 days ago, i was at a soiree by THO still.
That's just a brief of the life I live.
Between money making, life responsibilities and relationship management, I have been overwhelmed.
It sometimes drains me but I have learned to forge ahead.
Back to the former...
While I was running around in the market, my boss/boyfriend/Mentor (loool)- Mrs R, had tried to reach me; the phone was dead... Guess I failed on that.
As I sit in the office today, Fegstyling customers have got my phone buzzing endlessly, but ''I just want to satisfy Mrs R today''.. I said to myself; The opportunity cost? My fegstyling customers... Guess i failed them.
4 days ago, as I shuttled between the kitchen duties and house chores, my choir master was less than impressed, I had missed another choir rehearsal... I guess, I failed them.
11 days ago, I got to THO's house to be part of the party she organised for the choir, I had barely stepped my foot in when I got a call from home that I had to come home to join my sis in the labour room; implicitly, I was insensitive to family matters. I raced home, broke my speed limit at 140 km/h and was in Ilasa in about 15 mins from Ikoyi. I was saved by grace from ramming into another vehicle, but that's beyond the scope of the story, long story short, my people had gone to the hospital before I got home... I guess i failed them
13 days ago, I had to cancel an outing with my boyfriend or something close (not quite sure the nature of our relationship), because I had to honour my mentor's invitation in Ikoyi; Maybe i failed him too.
So last Sunday, I had to be at an exhibition as part of my roles at work, yet again, I had to be at my niece's naming, so I went to work in the morning and I was fashionably late for my niece's naming, that didn't go unnoticed by sister's husband's parents- I was termed the villain once again!
Everyone has some form of expectations from this tiny little girl called Abisayo, I think it's only fair because I committed myself to them all. I'd reiterate that I have learned to forge ahead but I probably omitted that I have, all this while, trudged ahead amidst thorns. The excruciating pain that emanates from realizing that you have disappointed another while trying to satisfy one is almost unbearable.
Adrenalise rush, Work, Relationship Management, Chasing Papers; Expectations hurt... Amidst it all.. I Stand
The line between expectations and responsibility sometimes can be blurry but responsibility outweighs expectations, in thought. What I have come to realise is that what we owe others is responsibility and not their expectations of us. Sometimes, these two merge and match and when fulfilled they feel alright and no one or few people note the difference. However, at other times, they are worlds apart. At such odd times, for the sake of our peace of mind, we are better placed taking responsibility because at such times expectations of others may be unreasonable, illogical, rash, insensitive, selfish, sentimental and manipulative. We sacrifice ourselves to meet the expectations of others and we look back as feel sad for stretching out limits, acknowledged or not.
ReplyDeleteWhat truly matters is the happiness that comes from balancing these well. Expectations hurt when you have it of others and get disappointed or when you meet at your expense. Either way, expectation can really hurt.
We can only take responsibility without burning out, earning ourselves true bliss and fulfillment in the end.