Overtime, I have seen and heard people debate other people's choices, they go on and on about it and eventually they conclude if it's rational or irrational, moral or immoral, religiously acceptable or unacceptable, they have all indices and matrices to come to their often pointless conclusion.
I was fortunate or unfortunate- depends on the perspective, to be in a midst of people who seemed to be discussing about how a graduate got married to a male driver. The ladies were married too and they just couldn't fathom why any 'rational' lady would 'stoop so low' to marry a man of such standard. Wetin concern you?
I listened quietly and didn't give it much thought, but as I rode home again tonight, a similar conversation ensued about some ladies who are not married. A particular lady who we noticed was not even remotely interested in getting married was the subject of discussion and it started again... 'why would she not want to get married?' ' it is very wrong for anyone to want to stay single' 'who would spend all the money that she has?' is it ya money???!. The questions were endless, but I responded with one phrase- Respect people's choices.
Respecting people's choices is in no way an avenue to support people's criminal motives like murder or stealing or stark immoral habits that may endanger the lives of others. It is mostly about knowing that when an adult decides on an issue that affects him/her and stands by the decision barring all advice, he/she should not be judged because you don't walk in his shoes nor travel the same route with the person.
The truth is, it gets hard not to get judgmental when you are presented with cases similar to, or more critical than those in the first 2 paragraphs but the question you should ask yourself is: 'To what end?'. Why do you yell and cry over another man's decision for his life that doesn't affect yours in anyway?
If you have tried to make a change initially by advising your friend or family member about a decision that you have sure fire instincts will backfire, and the decision maker has refused to pay mind to your advice, there is no need to use aspirin for his headache, nor waste time discussing or thinking about it. This is because it's neither within your circle of influence, nor circle of concern. It's within your circle of 'Pay no mind'.
Waste no time, suffer no sleep; whoever makes a decision, reaps the reward or suffers the consequence, after all, it's their decision, it's their life!
Respecting people's choices is in no way an avenue to support people's criminal motives like murder or stealing or stark immoral habits that may endanger the lives of others. It is mostly about knowing that when an adult decides on an issue that affects him/her and stands by the decision barring all advice, he/she should not be judged because you don't walk in his shoes nor travel the same route with the person.
If you have tried to make a change initially by advising your friend or family member about a decision that you have sure fire instincts will backfire, and the decision maker has refused to pay mind to your advice, there is no need to use aspirin for his headache, nor waste time discussing or thinking about it. This is because it's neither within your circle of influence, nor circle of concern. It's within your circle of 'Pay no mind'.
Waste no time, suffer no sleep; whoever makes a decision, reaps the reward or suffers the consequence, after all, it's their decision, it's their life!
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ReplyDeleteDear Blogger,
ReplyDeleteIt is pertinent to note that the human race has a proclivity to analyze and appraise certain individuals who appear to have missed the mark in terms of propriety and desired behavior.
That is not to say that this trait is to be applauded. However, it has become a social malady of epic proportions which has witnessed a preponderance of feminine folks indulge in self-righteous discussions that put them on delusional pedestal above other folks. They consider themselves moral and social judges. They criticize a defenseless world whose only crime is being different. Nonetheless, since this trait is basic to human nature, we could channel it into positive energy. Instead of criticizing the banker that married a Danfo driver, we could applaud true love at its finest; traversing socioeconomic barriers. That’s a positive story I would like to hear. I hope these words of mine make sense to the world. Or else, the 10 minutes of Stanbic’s time I used to type this would have been wasted. Cheers!!!