ALL THAT COULD GO WRONG...

Woke up really light this morning as I had a troubled night of purging (maybe I reacted negatively to my dinner) still can't tell why.
I was running late as usual, and I managed to pack my things to meet up with those joining me to church.
Started my car, warmed it briefly and was backing out of our compound when the car started acting up, doggedly I drove it and journeyed on.
We had barely driven 5 minutes when I ran into a rimless tire on the road, tried to place the tire beneath the car, thought I was done with that, till passers by started beckoning to me. Ok, that was it... Something was wrong again, yup, it was the tire I thought I had evaded that had become an extra baggage beneath my car, next I saw was smoke, couldn't decipher what that meant, so we all alighted from the car to check. The guys helped get the tire out and we continued the journey.
A few minutes later, I realized the tension had caused so much heat and sweat had visibly started trickling down my face, my dainty make up was now smudged, the solution? My AC!!! I turned it on and alas! It didnt come on, just fan, I guess the whole tire situation had tampered with the AC condenser somehow.
Couldn't even think about that, we just continued.
We were already late, so I decided against any complicated route, I headed on to Eko bridge, smooth and free till I got to Apongbon bridge and I noticed that many cars were ascending the bridge, that was a red flag I chose to ignore, to my greatest dismay we got to CMS and was going to ascend Ikoyi bridge when we got stuck in traffic. No, this has NEVER happened on a Sunday, it was always smooth sailing, why was today different??? Just like the BRT bus beside me heard my thoughts, I just noticed the sticker on it- it was a special program where the great man of God pastor E.A Adeboye will be ministering. I just sat down quietly and continued wading through the traffic with the scourging heat.

Eventually we got out and all the traffic lights on Awolowo road decided to be functional this Sunday, meant we had to wait for every red light. I was already sobbing inside because our service  was 10 mins away.

We eventually got church a few minutes before 9am. I just urged the other guys to hurry up to meet up with choir ministration for the service.

I couldnt join the choir for the service as I had broken the rules- didn't attend any of the rehearsals. I strutted into the church and went to a small corner close to the wall, I needed to disappear as much as possible.
As the praise worship commenced, I was still thinking of the ordeals and I just didn't dance...Okay, so I knew the devil wanted use the opportunity to push me away from worshiping my God, so I said to myself- ALL THAT COULD GO WRONG, HAS GONE WRONG BUT THAT JUST ISNT ENOUGH TO TAKE MY PRAISE.
I swung into action and danced away the pain, truly in the presence of God...

Unsolicited Advice from the sales desk...

I engaged a customer today who priced a gorgeous Ankara piece from our store. I told her that the dress is N29,500, and she told me it has over priced (her perception tho'), she gave me an almost logical reason to back up her argument by valuing the Ankara at N5,000 (assuming it's the best ankara) and the sewing at N5,000 (based on her local tailors charges) and she couldn't understand where all the rest of the N19,500 went into. Meanwhile, she didnt understand the complexity in the simple design, hence it couldnt have been sewn at N5,000 by a STANDARD tailor (please note the emphasis on standard tailor with proper finishing), she ignored the embroidery, on the neckline, maybe she missed out the dainty button on that neckline, the high quality YKK zip used, amongst other things. Those are a a few of the direct costs on the dress.

Expectations Hurt

This time yesterday, I was running around in the market trying to make additional ends meet.
Yes, I looked all scruffy and was unbelievably in a state of squalor; a terrible sight to behold.
Today, I sit in an office, with my laptop, dark lipstick, a gorgeous black dress- the quintessential boss!
2 days ago, i shuttled between the kitchen duties and house chores.
11 days ago, I was at a birthday party organised for the choir by for of my mentors- Toyin Hassan-Odukale
and just 13 days ago, i was at a soiree by THO still.
That's just a brief of the life I live.

Silent Goodbye

I looked into his eyes and saw the truth that seemed to be crying out loud for my love. I wish I could be what you want me to be. I wish I could turn around to make it work the way it was when i looked at you and my heart leapt with joy. But things changed, my heart drifted and I can not seem to drive it back to where it was.

But, no, it is a bridge we both burned with no fire, no words, no actions, just plain understanding of golden silence.

We are back to status quo- strangers, the exact way we were before we got together as lovers.
... As they say- 'that's life; it goes on...

Seemingly Inconsequential Testimony?

... I quickly hopped onto my feet and trudged to safety,  well, to what seemed like safety... '04/01/2016'

We had just concluded a wonderful performance at Muson and I was heading home with my goons who had refused to go through my preferred route,  hence we alighted from the group's means of transportation - a private bus, at Onipan. It was about 21:00hrs

We were caught between using the overhead bridge and doing the unthinkable- pacing the highway.
Pacing the highway seemed like the more reasonable option at that time as numerous stories of night time robbery attack in the duly 'covered'  overhead bridge instilled fear in us all.

Farewell to a rare breed

The night is done and reality has dawned; you are not going to resume here next week Monday.

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I have just finally reckoned that it has all come to an end. The many beautiful nights of closing at 9:00pm and strolling together to the bus stop to latch onto the next available bus, is over- Those nights would have been completely bland and tiresome without you.

Proudly Imperfect

To be perfect, I crave not to be.

Perfect is boring 

I relish the imperfect me

Flaws et al to the table I bring.

I love that I can't predict outcomes

Cause I am me.

I face challenges, I don't run,

I stay right where I wanna be 

It's OK if I fail,

I know it's life.

Along we sail

Even in the storm's strife.

We still smile

As we toil through the miles.

Birthday: Vibrant and Grateful!

I woke up this morning in thesame bed I slept last night; I probably had too much expectations that all things will become new. I can't believe how grown I am now and that I didn't camp by my phone waiting for who was going to be the first caller.

Midnight Muse

1 Corin. 2v5 

... Your faith then, does not rely on human wisdom but on God's power' 

If after careful analysis, it makes logical sense, your faith may just be relying human wisdom. To rely on the spirit, you have to listen and believe. It may not be the most popular choice nor the most logical decision, but you just have to believe in the unseen to bring to a reality the seen.

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Which brings us to the 9th verse of 1corin... 

... "Eye has not seen

Ear has not heard,

Mind has not conceived,

That which the Lord hath prepared for those who love him"...‎

Dream Awake and Alive

The saying goes thus: it's better to be dead than to be alive without a dream.

Dreams vary amongst individuals and the word 'achievement', is a relative term that's often quickly attained by the complacent and often a work in progress(WIP) for the Olliver Twists - who often become a lifetime of success stories by staying hungry and insatiable as they strive to attain greater heights.

'No Dream is inconsequential... It is the fulfilment it brings to you and the solution it provides to others, that matters'

I Caught the Bouquet...

Eventful Saturday it was; after I had spent slightly over 2hours within the mainland with no headway in the grid lock traffic, I decided it was best to do away with my ambition of attending an office session on the island and head straight down to my secret mentor's/crush's sister's wedding.

I scrambled into the church compound but not inside the church (The church was the non trouser wearing type of church), clad in my sleeveless jumpsuit which I had now managed to make more 'decent' with a long sleeved cropped jacket.

After all said and done the church service ended and we headed straight down to the reception. We had lots of food and drinks and in all, it was good party- May the couples home be  a million times better.

Finally, we got to the part most single ladies look forward to at any wedding reception - throwing of the bouquet.
I gave up on that a while ago when I struggled to pick the bouquet and I ended up landing on my butt. But the MC won't let me rest, he resorted to all sorts of embarrassing comments till he got me off my seat.
I thought to myself, 'how can I be the first in line to catch the bouquet when I'm not even an acquaintance, let alone friend,  to the bride?' I snickered at the thought of the image of desperation I may be projecting to the other guests while blushing helplessly at the MCs endless comments.
I stood there quietly, waiting for the bride's friends to join me.

The bride's friends joined me, that brought some relief to me but the bride on the other hand started getting petulant- guess she couldn't wait for the party to be over and commence the beautiful life after the wedding day.

Alas, the bouquet was thrown and without any struggle, I stretched my hand and it was there! YES!!! I picked the bouquet! Although I had a bland outlook, my insides leapt with joy at the thought of getting married soon.
Everyone congratulated me for catching the bouquet like I just had a baby- it was at that point that pessimism kicked in and I wondered what use the dainty bouquet was to me when all that was attached to it was some old age superstitious belief and nothing more.

I caught the bouquet, for an instance, I was glad,

I thought about other things, and I became sad

Can the bouquet teach me to love

Can it bring someone that'd rock my world

Can it put a ring on my finger, 

Bring someone to love forever.

Roses are red, my bouquet is teal,

For once I cared, and the attendant feelings were surreal.

But my black cap came on

And all those feelings are gone.

I caught the bouquet, I am happy cause it's a first,  hence it brings hope.

Their Choice, Their Life!

Overtime, I have seen and heard people debate other people's choices, they go on and on about it and eventually they conclude if it's rational or irrational, moral or immoral, religiously acceptable or unacceptable, they have all indices and matrices to come to their often pointless conclusion.

I was fortunate or unfortunate- depends on the perspective, to be in a midst of people who seemed to be discussing about how a graduate got married to a male driver. The ladies were  married too and they just couldn't fathom why any 'rational' lady would 'stoop so low' to marry a man of such standard. Wetin concern you?

Crawling back to the Cross

It's quite sad that I wasn't able to do a post on the church wedding at which I officiated as a member of the choir yesterday and its going to be inappropriate on a Sunday but hopefully next week Saturday I'll do a late post on it.

Straight to the business for the day,  I saw a 'line' on my colleagues (a person I respect and admire so much) bbm personal message, and I was inspired to do a post on it.

The Quest For a Perfect Life (1)

I came to my blog/scrapbook and met a ghost of what it should be. I'm a bit rueful of the fact that I haven't put up a post this week; it has been mostly due to my state of health. I fell slightly Ill during the week- I'm still yet to figure if was a physical illness, as all possible tests came back negative, or a psychological illness that comes with my job.

At some point I'll figure out what it really is, right now I will prepare to sleep whilst I think of a possible write up for today.

In the midst of all my thoughts, I had just laid on the mattress and lay my head on the pillow, ready to make my eyelids enjoy a long kiss as I retire for the night(since no write up ideas were coming), when I stumbled on this picture...

Get Past the Past

God, in all wisdom, gave us a face and a default onward vision, but a lot of people,like the biblical Lot, will rather strain their necks to look back.

There's nothing wrong, if you cast a glance at events that took place in the past, how it has affected your present and what you can do to make it shape your future positively.

From Abby with Love and Reason...

Dear ladies,

I know you are in a relationship and totally in love with him that it 'feels' like you are married already.

Congratulations dear but...

...Keep your options open till he puts a ring on it.

Keeping your options open doesn't mean you should flirt and go to bed with every member of the opposite sex, it simply means staying committed to the one you are presently with but not discarding nor mistreating other prospects.

The Beauty of an Unfair Life

I sashayed into the office after going through the checks of the man trap security- bursting with energy, full of life and highly expectant for the day's business, I stepped in, and saw clusters of staff members all looking morose and speaking in low tones... I didn't know what exactly happened, but I was certain it was a sad event. As a green horn in this sector I had never experienced a downsizing event so I didn't have a clue.
It was done, the first quarter had passed and the least performers had been relieved of their jobs. A friend of ours was affected and apparently didn't resume today. Morale was low as grumpy staff all pretended to be busy and endless series of complaints filled the atmosphere.

Over troubled Waters....

I sat down in a public transport heading back to my humble abode from my tasking 8-5 job ( mostly 6am-7pm tho), I stared keenly at the waters below the bridge that leads to Eko bridge and it glazed, and clear like a crystal it seemed like I could see missing pieces of my core.

I was reminded of all the things I cherished but I had somehow stopped doing because of other demands of life. Well, I know I am often superficially happy but there was a lacuna that could not be filled no matter how I feigned happiness. One of such things is putting down my thoughts, hence, as I drowned in my thoughts over troubled waters came the birth of ESMAbi.

No, this blog is not supposed to be about writing buzz-traffic-generating articles. It doesn't fall into any of the regular niche blogging neither is it a mass blogging kind of blog. It's not going to give you the latest updates; stick to LIB for that.

ESMAbi is about me, myself, my thoughts, my opinions, my articles of interest. It's gon be vast, fun, sometimes controversial, sometimes pointless, but regardless, you can leave your comment in the comment box and trust me to publish cause it's not about perception, it's about reality... and I promise to keep it real to the bones!

Welcome as you begin a movie showing the Endless Shades of MaryAnne Abby!